I'm worried about the future. I'm scared of it PROPA LIKE. It just occurred to me today that life might not turn out how I dream it does. I was shopping today (bought some random shit - most of it was faded clothing... hence the picture) and as I floated round all the clothes shops I really resented how fashionable fashion has become. There's so much talent (but only the CREME DE LA CREME make it) and SO much demand in the industry that I questioned what potential I had to contribute. Is there any room for me in fashion? Or am I destined to be one in ever-growing millions of people who are forced to compromise?
But fashion has always been the plan. It sounds so inane and cliche when people (mainly talent show victims) say "this is the only thing i want" and "THIS IS MY LIFE! I WANNA BE FAMOUS, WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME SIMON COWELL?" (vom) but I seriously would be left without a compass if I didn't have fashion. I want to do big things and be happy happy. I want to learn things and go places. But then reality blocks the view from my rose-tinted glasses, and i'm faced with the reality of fashion; and i can't see clearly. Through blurred vision, there is suicide and broken souls, mass consummation and hollowness, opulence and destruction. It's perversely still beautiful, but it's not the world I imagined.
To me, there is something just so innocent about dressing up; to communicate through decoration and to wear your emotions. That is the reason I love fashion and will always do.
but anyway... big thoughts, small mind.
I need a cup of bush tea and a beautiful landscape. Yes that is right, I am, in fact, fictional character and No. 1 ladies detective agent, Mma Ramotswe. Dumela!